J A M E S A N D L E E 11 person did not really know. The explanation changed depending on which self-proclaimed scientist, wealthy and out-of-touch ce- lebrity, or socialist political figure was explaining it. Most of the talk was about the disintegration of the ozone layer or trapping of solar energy causing a “greenhouse effect.” In short, the only thing these mysterious scientists and “self-educated” specialists could agree on was the main culprit of these greenhouse gases— carbon dioxide. If one were to go back in time and ask their local global warming specialist to see the recipe for greenhouse gas it would look much like this: RECIPE FOR GREENHOUSE GAS Ingredients: 95 parts water vapor 4 parts carbon dioxide 1 part methane, nitrous oxide, ozone, and chlorofluorocarbons Steps: 1. Take out one medium-sized planet. 2. Place into planet the 95 parts water vapor in the form of clouds and atmosphere. 3. Take a deep breath, inhaling 4 parts oxygen, and then ex hale the 4 parts carbon dioxide into the planet. 4. Season with a pinch of methane, nitrous oxide, and chlo rofluorocarbon in the form of hair care products, air con ditioners, cattle farming, and flatulence. 5. Mix all ingredients together in the medium-sized planet, bake in direct sunlight for 120 years, and kiss your polar bears, penguins, and planet good-bye. Looking back, it is funny that one of the smallest ingredients in their greenhouse gas recipe became the most feared. Maybe this fact was less funny and more interesting. However, no one took an interest. We simply believed what we were spoon-fed.