16 G R E G O R Y J A M E S have never left our town. Still, no one has proved otherwise. It is a most impressive collection of both new works and surviving works from before the Great Scare. We have in our possession an entire set of the 2005 edition of Encyclopedia Britannica. We also have a complete copy of the 1828 and the 1913 editions of Webster’s American Dictionary of the English Language, two cop- ies of the 1611 King James Version of the Bible, a single copy of A Patriot’s History of the United States: From Columbus’s Great Discovery to the War on Terror, and a Lucky Charms cereal box, complete with nutritional information and “Lucky’s Amazing Maze” on the back. As for new works, the townsfolk of PeopleV- ille have published many great pieces over the years. Such books include How We Got Here: The Memoir of the Survivors in Their own Words; DON’T EAT IT: Hundred and One Subterranean Dish- es that Will Most Likely Kill You, and, my personal favorite; Tun- nels, Stalactites, and Coach Roches: The Librarian’s Guide to Under- ground Survival (written by yours truly), and many, many more. Having spent our entire lives reading and rereading the contents of our library, Lee and I are considered the smartest people in town. Therefore, it is our job to solve everyone else’s problems. “So, what’s on the agenda today?” asked Lee begrudgingly. “The usual,” I answered, while boiling water on the kitchen stove. Our stove, like all our appliances, was crafted by our own hands. Lee and I have always had a knack for tinkering and build- ing both the boringly needed and the fascinatingly useless. Our stove would obviously fall into the first category. Though energy efficient and reliable, it is not much for the eyes. A pile of rocks coated with tar would be more visually appealing. But hey, it boils a mean pot of tea. “Moss tea?” I asked Lee. “Yes, that would be most lovely. So, where do we go first?” Back on the topic of the day’s agenda, I procured a list of names and requests that was posted on our door the night before and proceeded to read it.